Monday, October 10, 2011

One, two, FIVE! I mean three... Weeks.

Hello, all of you.
This is another one of those posts about me apologizing for my Blogger negligence.
I realize that I haven't actually posted ANYTHING for roughly three whole semanas. (Weeks. That's Spanish, kids! :D) I want to sincerely apologize for that, and for the fact that that means that I haven't really been on at all. Meaning I haven't been seeing all YOUR posts.
Now, normally I make it a point to go to all the blogs I follow and view their (your) posts, usually commenting upon their (your) topic in question. Or at least give a "Well done, chap!"
I haven't done that, obviously. I think it's been a week and a half since I read anything by anyone. When you follow ten or fifteen people and consistently check ALL of their posts, and WANT to read all the stuff, a week can really be a long time to check. Too long.
So just know that I did, in fact, go back and read pretty much everything by all of you, and that even if I did neglect you for a short while, I tried to make up for it.
So, enough chit-chat. Since I (obviously) can't just say sorry and then disappear for another three weeks, I figured I would leave you with a little somethin'-somethin'. So, here it is. Some cool pictures of awesome people. Try to guess who they are; they'll start out easy, and get progressively harder as they go. :D
1. Easy. Looking sharp, big guy!
2. What a nice-looking fellow he is.
3. His lip always pulled up in a grim, uncontrollable scowl...
4. Look at that cute, happy smile...
5. If anything, her smile should give it away.
6. What a magnificent black cat!
7. Wait... An old lady... With an ax...? Yet it seems so fitting...
8. Who could forget such dark, watchful eyes?
9. He looks a little concerned, or something.
10. The trickiest of them all... Good luck with THIS one.
Have fun, everybody! :D

Monday, September 19, 2011

Worst Movies Ever Blogfest!

Thanks to merely two degrees of separation, I was able to find the gracious host of this blogfest, Alex J. Cavanaugh. And you can find him HERE!

Here are the rules:

On Monday, September 19, post a list of up to ten of the worst movies you’ve ever had the misfortune to watch. Films that just oozed awfulness and featured plot holes so big you could drive a bus through them. Any genre or year, but only theater and straight to video/DVD titles. (Otherwise we’d all list every movie ever made by the SyFy Channel!)

Here is my worst.

M. Night Shyamalan's "The Last Airbender."

Alright, let's start with the plot, which most of you may already know.
Two siblings find a young boy in an iceberg, who turns out to be the Avatar, the savior of the four nations of the world.
He must master Water Bending before he can save the world.
So he masters Water Bending. THE END.

Not only does this plot make no sense (especially when compared to the show), it also leaves you hanging. What happened in between? Well, that's just it. Really, nothing monumental EVER happens in the movie. The reason for this may very well be that the producer wanted to create an action-packed adventure with three kids being hunted by an angry fire-bending prince, with non-stop fight scenes (if that is the case, they also did a really bad job at it). But the more likely reason is that the actual show contained twenty episodes in the first season, each clocking in at roughly twenty minutes. That's a total of four hundred minutes, or six hours and forty minutes. The movie was one hour and forty-three minutes long, including credits. They tried to squeeze in anything semi-important, and therefore made it really confusing. The characters wound up practically teleporting to different parts of the world. I could go on about the plot for days, but I know you'd rather I didn't, and I would rather I didn't.

The acting.
It was terrible. Everything about it was bad.
The main character, Aang, is supposed to be a fun-loving little dude who always has a smile on his face. Instead, he's the most serious character in the movie. In a scene where he says "I love games, too," it looks though as if he's just seen the end of all times, and looked into the bowels of death.
Sokka, the 16-year-old brother who found Aang, is supposed to be cynical, sarcastic, and an all-around funny, sort of ladies' man. They got the cocky, 27-year-old Jackson Rathbone, the guy who played Jasper in Twilight (quote: "the one who looks like he's always in pain") to play him. Did he do a terrible job, even though he's a name actor? I mentioned he was in Twilight, yes? Plus, he and his sister were the only white people in the entire water tribe.
All the firebenders (the badguys) were played by Middle-Easterns. I don't have a problem with them, but you would think someone would find it offensive. To me, it seems a little racist to make all of them the enemies. And the actor who played the intimidating "General Xiao" was played by the same man in Spiderman 2, the owner of the pizza shop that Peter Parker works at.
The bending is a unique process where the elements of nature move according to the movements of the body, the speed of it being no exception. Did they get this correct? Nay, good sir! In this, the benders do a ridiculously long Kung Fu windup (which would wear you out, I'm sure) in order to use a tiiiiiiiiiny bit of bending, like blowing out a candle, or splashing a drop of water on a friend's head. (This explains Chinese water torture; it's not that they were trying to make the people go crazy, it's just literally as fast as they could go whilst bending.)
They also pronounced almost every name in the movie wrong.

The only redeemable quality that I found in the movie was the costumes. They did a good job on the costumes. Bravo.

That was probably the worst "big" movie I've ever seen. Some people, who haven't seen the show, may have enjoyed it. But the IMDb rating was 4.5 out of 10 stars, and the Metascore was a mere 20 out of 100.
(This cool-looking scene never actually happens, in case you didn't guess that already.)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Coffee Shop

This is the more serious picture I've been working on this past week. Well, two days, really.
This picture contains three of my favorite things: Rain, coffee shops, and people who love rain and coffee shops. (Sorry for the bad quality. I don't know what that's about...)

Here's the widescreen view, and, magically, it has even worse quality than the previous picture. Who knew it was possible?


Hey there! It's me again. That's right; the esteemed Zade, Emperor of Narnia. Not to brag or anything...
Anyways. This isn't going to be a serious post (hence the name {hence the "hence the name"} [hence the "hence the 'hence the name'"]}|and I would've gone further, but I ran out of brackets, so I used this weird line thing|), and may actually be reused many, many times in the future... For any other doodles I doodle, rather than having to start an entirely new post every time.
ANYanyways (my goodness, we're awfully redundant tonight, aren't we?), here are a few doodles I've done over the past week or so in my free time (which is all day, every day, just so you know). Feel free to laugh, cry, comment, or solve world hunger. Any of the above would be acceptable responses to what you're about to see. 
Thanks for tuning in this week, on Blogger! -Cue cheesy game show/Fox news music-
The other night, I was having a block (it was in no way similar to having a baby, mind you), and my brother suggested I draw chickens (don't ask; he's just a very, very strange lad). This picture was the outcome of that suggestion.

Confusion (Mind the camels; they spit!)

This one is titled "The Age of the Machine... Is 104" I don't think it's quite done yet, so it may eventually escape from the bonds of doodlism and into the world of regular, decent pictures which much effort and deliberation was put into the making of (I'll come up with a title for this category later. For now, simply call it R.D.P.W.M.E.D.W.P.I.M. We'll know what you mean.)

Monday, August 29, 2011

A Time to Share

Hello, my bloggy buddies.
How's it going?
Is life treating you well? Did you get the cookies I sent you? Excellent.
The cookies were a gift, or rather, an exchange for your forgiveness to my lack of consistency (no, not like pancake batter) in the blogging realm.
I am sorry.
I am also sorry if the postman ate your cookies. If he did, just let me know, and I'll send my minions after him. They'll get your cookies back. Promise.
Anyways, there's a reason (as there always is) for my absence as of late.
My computer went *poop* again. As far as computers can go *poop*, that is. It went *poop* so hard that it won't work anymore. (Sounds like a college buddy of mine...)
So again, my humblest apologies go out to all of ye who even view this small, desolate blog.
And HERE is what I've been working on in the meantime!
It may very well be the picture that has consumed more of my time in its creation than any other picture I have ever drawn, so please, if you don't like it, don't tell me. I would probably cry. (And, perhaps, do what my computer did... {though I'm not implying that I work as it is; I don't. I'm a bum. Whatcha gonna do about it!?})
There's a short story that goes along with this classy man...
But I haven't written it yet. Sorry! :D
(Also, the scanner cut off the ole bloke's feet. Don't think that he's a no-good, footless buffoon. He has classy feet, on which are classy shoes.)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Seven Virtues #1: Chastity

I know I'm rather late in getting to this, but I've been fairly busy lately, and haven't yet had a chance to do it! Tragic. I know. But I plan to do it, anyways, because, well, I want to.
This is the Seven Virtues blog challenge. A month ago, Lady Antimony had hosted a blog challenge called "The Seven Deadly Sins." I managed to kill at least five people (in story, mind you), and ruin the lives of the rest of them. I know, I'm horrible.
This seems to be the only chance of redemption. And how hard it might be! We'll give it a shot.

   I walk right past them,
   and I know how they felt.
   They saw the outline of
   my Chastity Belt.

   They won't make it through,
   Not without a fight.
   It may never come off,
   If I put it on right.

   If you get to my heart,
   You might get my key,
   And then my manliness
   Will all be set free.

   It gets a bit scratchy,
   That much is true,
   so if you wear one, well,
   good luck to you, too.

   Somehow or another,
   It feels a bit wrong.
   It doesn't quite fit me,
   neither does my thong.

...I'm going to Hell, aren't I?

(92 Words)

I'm OUTTA here!

Hello, there. I'm back. You may or may not have noticed, but I've been away from the blog world for quite some time. A very long time, in fact, as far as keeping up with a site like this is concerned. Well, let me tell you why. I was moving. It was a long process. On Friday, the final things in our house were packed and (somewhat) organized. The following day, in lovely 110 degrees weather, we took eight hours to pack all our belongings (and believe me, that is a LOT of stuff) into the 24-8-12 foot moving truck. When we had finally finished packing everything, and were sore, tired, hungry, sweaty, and feeling as if our arms were about to fall off, we decided to move the truck out of the way, as it was backed up our sidewalk.
   Here's the great part: we couldn't find the keys. We searched the entire house from top to bottom, left to right, and nook to cranny. And wouldn't you know it? They had been packed up due to a slight mishap that had occurred hours before. The small desk they had fallen into had ALSO been packed into the truck.
   You can imagine our frustration.
   Three grunts, six groans, a push and a heave, and four gallons of sweat later, the truck was halfway unpacked, and we found the keys.t The following morning, we left late (11:00 AM), and didn't arrive at our first stop until 9 o'clock that evening, including a one-hour backwards time transition.
   There were three of us crammed into the cab of the moving truck. And that was the comfortable ride. The other two us (myself and my mum) were packed into a small car, with two large dogs, one cat in a large cage, eight bags, three baskets, a cooler, two sacks of food, topped off by the smell of fresh animal droppings (which may not be the right word; I'm really feeling it with 'smathering,' regardless of the fact that it doesn't actually exist) across six states, over the course of 30 hours spread across three days (Sunday-Tuesday).
   Even though it was a difficult, uncomfortable, and smelly trip, there were many fun things that occurred during that time (like jamming out to two full CDs of the Beatles, viewing the scenery, making fun of some of the ridiculous town names, etc.), and the new place was totally worth it all.
   As much as I *ahem* "enjoy" moving across the country, I can't say I'll be doing it again anytime soon. Cheerio.

I think this was a pile of rocks in Wyoming... I can't remember.

This is our cat, Foofoocuddlypoops, otherwise known as Kitty, or Lil' K Foofs (that's his street name.) sleeping in his cage.

More pretty mountains somewhere in either Wyoming or in  Idaho. Maybe Utah.

I like the mountains, what can I say?

I'm a brilliant photographer, obviously. (Not really. I just said it. It makes me feel... Special. :D)

This is a place in Oregon called Multnomah Falls. It is utterly beautiful, and completely free to visit. SCORE!

(Sorry for the bad picture quality, they were taken from my phone, which is cheap.)